September 2022

Members shared the following opportunities:

Our featured speaker was Rachel Rush, LCSW with Child Guidance Resource Centers.

She and colleagues go into homes, schools and communities to help kids (mostly age 5 through high school) with high behavioral needs, and to help their families.

She offered the following tips:

  • Everyone needs to feel heard and listened to. Do a lot of reflective listening, rephrasing what you heard “I think I heard you say…” and then asking “Did I get this right?”

  • Say things carefully and thoughtfully. Always communicate in ways that make everyone feel safe. Never bring shame and blame into a conversation. Adults need to remember that they are always modeling communication styles for the children around them.

  • Provide regular validation, as in “I would feel the same way.” Never communicate “You’re being dramatic/oversensitive.”

  • Never make anyone feel judged or inferior.

  • Celebrate successes, no matter how small. “Look at how that made a difference!” This shows hope that change can happen.

  • Help others determine if they feel sadness, anger, etc rather than just letting their emotions escalate.

  • Trauma has real impact, but “it is what happened to you, not what’s wrong with you.”

  • Kids missed out on two years of social development and academics; they need to unlearn isolation and develop a feeling of being safe around people. It is important for them to get a lot of practice speaking to others in person after all the time they spent online. Outings that practice skills in the community are valuable.

  • Stress levels are high because everyone has had a reason to feel terrified.

  • If you notice behaviors or hear comments from children that worry you:

    If appropriate, ask the child, “Is it ok if I talk with your parent/guardian about this?”

    Approach the parent or guardian with care and concern. “This has been a difficult time. I’m worried. I want what’s best for your child so I’m raising this with you.”

    Demonstrate awareness and assurances that programs can meet them wherever they are at. “Here’s a phone number that may be helpful for your child to learn more skills. This program has been helpful to others.”

  • Healing starts at the home with the important adults in the child’s life. Help parents and guardians keep up their morale, empowering them with resources. What can adults to to avoid taking the crisis further?

  • Build trust with parents and guardians so that they trust you and communicate with you.

  • Help parents find support so they don’t lean on the child. Children want to know that adults can “handle” them and will love them unconditionally.

  • If caregivers are not managing their stress and providing self-care, it can be a big problem. When nothing else feels possible, encourage them to change their thoughts because that is always within their control.

  • When parents need support and communicate, “I can’t do anymore; I’m exhausted” encourage them to practice productive skills.

  • Primary care providers and school guidance counselors have resources that may be more quickly accessible than those from private services, which are currently serving long wait lists - but families should get on wait lists sooner than later, if qualified, as the time will pass quickly and the wait would only get longer while the situation may escalate.